wallylock:

when you share your evil schemes with your friends

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Anonymous;
you tell crazy stories but has a woman ever tried to kill you ?

jimmbbo:

perfect-melodies-filthy-wubs:

prettyboyshyflizzy:

This one girl accused me of cheating for having female friends (which i wasnt fucking or flirting with but was just cool friends I dont wanna talk to a bunch of niggas all day i need a female perspective on things) she was screaming at me for 20 mins straight

i dont argue back cause im laid back im just like mhmmm mhmmm looking in my phone checking sports scores and on twitter … so at one point she says “was the pussy atleast good my nigga?” i was like “mmhmm that shit was nice and tight”  all of a sudden i heard silence i look up shes like

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*this is the moment where i knew i fucked up*

just looks at me like that for like 20 seconds “im like bae im just playing.. im just playing…”  she runs to the kitchen… and starts going in the drawers “im like shawty u needa chill”   im like “im just playing”

she pulls something out all i see was the light beam reflect off it

i get a good look i see this in her hand

im in the couch like

she starts running towards me so i open the door step outside then shut the door from the outside and use all my body weight to hold onto the door knob, She used to run track in highschool so i think she gon catch me so im like nah im not even gon run and get stabbed in the spine

she pulling tryna open it lol im in a project type building on the 12th floor man I was standing there for 43 mins shorty aint have an ounce of quit in her. People walking by laughing hearing her screaming at me

some middle aged lady walked by she was like 50 she was like “mmmmhmmm she caught your ass didnt she”

im like “ma’am help my arms tired”

she was like ahaaa nope “call that bitch you was fucking for help”  and walked into her apt

then shorties mom came out the elevator i was like thank god.. she was like oh lord what u do.. i was like “nothingg ma’am she got a knife i swear i did nothing ” her mom was like “kita put the damn knife down im coming in if u stab me imma beat your ass” i feel the pressure get off the door and i make a run for it i see her try to come chase me but her mom blocks her Im sure i coulda beat usain bolt in a race the way i was running

she was really gon stab me, If her moms aint come i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day

i’ve never re-blogged something so quick in my life. 

I fuckin love tumblr stories

"Fart on your body I came alive"
— PLAYED 465,660 TIMES

ilovedrake12345:

it was liver

hauntrickstump:

spangefucker:

meatbicyclevevo:

somebody once told me the world was gonna

end on december 21, 2012. i bought all of this fucking pasta as a way to celebrate the end of the world and now i’m $10,000 in debt and i have pasta everywhere in my house

i ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed

nickiminajsasshole:

trying to be a part of conversations like

image

texturesandtextiles:

Exit Magazine, Spring/Summer 2013 Manuela Frey photographed by Emma Tempest 

texturesandtextiles:

Exit Magazine, Spring/Summer 2013 
Manuela Frey photographed by Emma Tempest 

guy:

sorry i only like people that i never have a chance with

zevransbutt:

PLASTIC SURGEONS HATE HIM
fereldan templar has discovered the way to eternal youth - learn all about his methods!

The Advisors.

Those forlorn stares and stolen glances are not those of a man with paternal intentions.

If I have learned anything over this last year it’s that you have to live your own life too so that if something we hoped for doesn’t work out, you still have two legs to stand on, you still have your own path.
— T.S. Krupa, Safe & Sound (via larmoyante)

asylum-art:

Magical Paths Begging To Be Walked

Roads and paths pervade our literature, poetry, artwork, linguistic expressions and music. Even photographers can’t keep their eyes (and lenses) off of a beautiful road or path, which is why we collected this list of 28 amazing photos of paths.

Paths like these have a powerful grip on the human imagination – they can bring adventure, promise and change or solitude, peace and calm. There’s nothing like a walk down a beautiful path to clear your head – or to fill it with ideas!

I’ll leave you with an excellent quote from J. R. R. Tolkien’s works while you enjoy these images; “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.

  1. Autumn In The White Carpathians
  2. Rhododendron Laden Path, Mount Rogers, Virginia, USA
  3. Spring In Hallerbos Forest, Belgium
  4. Autumn Path In Kyoto, Japan 
  5. Autumn Path
  6. Bamboo Path In Kyoto, Japan
  7. Hitachi Seaside Park Path In Japan
  8. Dark Hedges In Ireland
  9. Winter Forest Path, Czech Republic
  10. Path Under Blooming Trees In Spring